Lyn MacBeath, Rie’s
eldest daughter,has
asked to be an invited
guest for this blog,
Rie is a shining example of someone who has adapted and evolved as the years have passed. I will use her as an example of healthy aging from a psychological perspective |
I am honoured to celebrate Rie’s 88th birthday by
writing about healthy aging from psychological perspectives. It’s an ideal time
to reflect on my amazing mother especially because turning 88 - double ‘8’ - is an auspicious
age in some Oriental cultures, and a remarkable amount of life experience in
anyone’s books.
Rie is no stranger to adversity, she has made the most of her life
and done her best to share her time and wisdom with others.
As each decade of her life has passed Rie has continued to engage, grow, learn and teach. Lifelong learning has been a major source of her passion and enthusiasm each day. |
I am a physician who has specialized in psychiatry, a branch
of medicine devoted to promoting mental health in the course of treating mental
illness. I’ve been interested in how to age well for as long as I can remember
and worked in the field of geriatrics for a number of years. I’ve learned the
most about aging from my family and my patients, not from textbooks. My
paternal grandfather was a teacher who delighted in showing me ways he was
adapting to aging, including his worsening memory. Before he’d leave the house
he’d recite: “Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch,” to make sure he hadn’t
forgotten anything, (while making the sign of the cross with an impish
expression on this face). My maternal grandmother loved to read her favourite
books to us. I was caught up with how archeologist Arthur Evans discovered Knossos
on the island of Crete. And how Farley Mowat peed around his campsite to let
the wolves know - in language they’d understand – that this was his home, not theirs.
Rie uses walking sticks when she is outside to give support and maintain balance. They also give her upper body a workout |
My grandparents modeled how to savour what we can do, to see
the glass as ‘half full’ despite the inevitable losses that come with aging. We
shared giggles and a sense wonder. Becoming old could be a grand adventure. Imagine
what life could be like having years of life experience and knowing who you
are.
Gerontologists recognize two skill-sets to be developed in the
process of healthy aging. One is ‘successful aging’ and the
other ‘conscious aging’. Successful aging is about adaptation
to diminishments, allowing us to continue to do the things we have enjoyed
doing through our lives. Conscious aging is about inner growth, promoting
‘being’ more than ‘doing’. Conscious aging can be ‘exploring and developing
inner space’ (regularly taking time to be alone and perhaps meditating), living
an authentic life that is in agreement with our values and mentoring others
(including providing service). It’s about being increasingly aware of what is
going on within as well as around us, looking at the world from a long-term
vantage point that transcends our purely personal desires and fears. Successful
aging makes sense to most people while increasing consciousness appeals to a
smaller percentage. Rie is someone who has developed both skill-sets through
the course of her aging.
Concious aging is about savouring
each moment. This is an excellent
example of meditating on ice cream.
The aging process enhances contemplation.
|
Successful aging is about adapting so
that we maintain optimal well being in the face of age-associated losses. When
Rie’s back is bothering her she puts her laptop computer on the seat of a
walker to carry it around. She eats sauerkraut everyday because it improves her
digestion.
Conscious aging can include what Carl Jung would call individuation. Examination of our lives with
understanding of how apparently negative events eventually lead to positive
outcomes is a feature of this process. We return again and
again to our intention to be awake as we age, to embrace the pain along with the
ecstasy of life.